Well, it has been exactly one year and one day since I posted my last
Advent blog. Here we are again: The season of Advent. It is a most
joyous, awakening, and peaceful season. Even last year, in the midst of
the horrific storm and never-ending funeral that followed the death of
my 10-year marriage, the season of Advent still permeated my Being with
feelings of such gratefulness and peace.
In the church, it is a season of great hope and expectation and preparation. It goes beyond that, though. In addition to the Christian hope, preparation and expectation for the birth of Christ, this time of year is always prime time for hope, joy, and preparations for a new beginning and new shot at achieving all those things that slipped through our fingers throughout the year.
I begin this Advent in a different home on the other side of the country, at a different job, with two roommates in addition to my daughters, and with an updated outlook on life. I breathe the ocean air and excitedly await the opportunity to begin each day. The weather in southern California doesn't exactly bring about the nostalgia of my Virginia hometown during the holidays, but there is definitely something about this place that facilitates reflection during recreation ("Reflection During Recreation"...that kinda sounds like some weird exercise class. But seriously, I just made it up. Just now).
So let's see...
this time last year, I had gone from Wife to Single Mom; from beloved daughter to distant relative; from sleeping in on Sundays to exploring my roots in the Episcopalian Church. I was embarking on the greatest and most painful challenges of my life, willing my way through what had become a darkened and fearful existence.
But, it was Advent, and through it all, I was hopeful.
As 2012 progressed, I was reading more and more and realizing that it wasn't over. My life wasn't over. It was dark and scary for sure, but hope remained.
I wasn't damned by God for getting divorced.
I wasn't damned as a Mother for picking a new career, which I believed without any doubt was my calling. My destiny. My reason for being here.
I wasn't damned as a Christian for walking away from the Church for a period.
I wasn't damned as a friend for choosing to be solitary rather than sociable.
Every time I believed it was all over for me, it wasn't.
Last
weekend, I spent some time in Yosemite. There is nothing like the
majestic views of a place like Yosemite to remind us that we are not the
End All of the universe. Our decisions, although will always have
consequences, are not going to make or break the world. Trees burn down,
and forests regrow. Millions have traversed the paths we now wander.
Generations have looked heavenward for answers and guidance to
challenges we can not even fathom.
There are second, third, fourth, thousandth chances; there is hope; there is tomorrow; there are gifts and joys and new paths to be explored. The End is not the end.
Joseph and Mary, Mary especially, probably felt pretty damn hopeless. I imagine the scene if it took place today.
"Seriously? Are you kidding me? You want me to have this kid HERE? In the DIRT? I hate you."
"Well Mary, if you can come up with something better, or miraculously make room in that hotel, HAVE AT IT!"
"Well if you had let us fly out of town, instead of using your POS car, we might have arrived before all the rooms were booked."
"Well excuse me for being poor. Maybe you should have married someone rich!"
"Or maybe I should have married someone who knew how to plan ahead!"
Awkward silence ensues as the three wise men arrive and realize they have just walked in on an intense argument.
"Uh, hey...we brought some gifts."
Mary: "Whatever."
Yes? No? Does that seem close? in my imagination, it is. Except it doesn't really capture the essence of Mary's fear and Joseph's helplessness and sense of failure in not being able to get some better accommodations for the birth of Jesus.
ANYWAY!
the point is: boy oh boy...that night was the fulfillment of prophecies, the beginning of the journey of Jesus, a night so miraculous that the sky was filled with angels who sang about "peace of earth and goodwill towards men!"
(Insert replay from last year's blog:)
During this season of Advent, I hope everyone will sit back and reflect, and realize that, just when you think it's all over, you may actually be embarking on the most incredible and glorious journey of your life.
In the church, it is a season of great hope and expectation and preparation. It goes beyond that, though. In addition to the Christian hope, preparation and expectation for the birth of Christ, this time of year is always prime time for hope, joy, and preparations for a new beginning and new shot at achieving all those things that slipped through our fingers throughout the year.
I begin this Advent in a different home on the other side of the country, at a different job, with two roommates in addition to my daughters, and with an updated outlook on life. I breathe the ocean air and excitedly await the opportunity to begin each day. The weather in southern California doesn't exactly bring about the nostalgia of my Virginia hometown during the holidays, but there is definitely something about this place that facilitates reflection during recreation ("Reflection During Recreation"...that kinda sounds like some weird exercise class. But seriously, I just made it up. Just now).
So let's see...
this time last year, I had gone from Wife to Single Mom; from beloved daughter to distant relative; from sleeping in on Sundays to exploring my roots in the Episcopalian Church. I was embarking on the greatest and most painful challenges of my life, willing my way through what had become a darkened and fearful existence.
But, it was Advent, and through it all, I was hopeful.
As 2012 progressed, I was reading more and more and realizing that it wasn't over. My life wasn't over. It was dark and scary for sure, but hope remained.
I wasn't damned by God for getting divorced.
I wasn't damned as a Mother for picking a new career, which I believed without any doubt was my calling. My destiny. My reason for being here.
I wasn't damned as a Christian for walking away from the Church for a period.
I wasn't damned as a friend for choosing to be solitary rather than sociable.
Every time I believed it was all over for me, it wasn't.
Last
weekend, I spent some time in Yosemite. There is nothing like the
majestic views of a place like Yosemite to remind us that we are not the
End All of the universe. Our decisions, although will always have
consequences, are not going to make or break the world. Trees burn down,
and forests regrow. Millions have traversed the paths we now wander.
Generations have looked heavenward for answers and guidance to
challenges we can not even fathom. There are second, third, fourth, thousandth chances; there is hope; there is tomorrow; there are gifts and joys and new paths to be explored. The End is not the end.
Joseph and Mary, Mary especially, probably felt pretty damn hopeless. I imagine the scene if it took place today.
"Seriously? Are you kidding me? You want me to have this kid HERE? In the DIRT? I hate you."
"Well Mary, if you can come up with something better, or miraculously make room in that hotel, HAVE AT IT!"
"Well if you had let us fly out of town, instead of using your POS car, we might have arrived before all the rooms were booked."
"Well excuse me for being poor. Maybe you should have married someone rich!"
"Or maybe I should have married someone who knew how to plan ahead!"
Awkward silence ensues as the three wise men arrive and realize they have just walked in on an intense argument.
"Uh, hey...we brought some gifts."
Mary: "Whatever."
Yes? No? Does that seem close? in my imagination, it is. Except it doesn't really capture the essence of Mary's fear and Joseph's helplessness and sense of failure in not being able to get some better accommodations for the birth of Jesus.
ANYWAY!
the point is: boy oh boy...that night was the fulfillment of prophecies, the beginning of the journey of Jesus, a night so miraculous that the sky was filled with angels who sang about "peace of earth and goodwill towards men!"
During this season of Advent, I hope everyone will sit back and reflect, and realize that, just when you think it's all over, you may actually be embarking on the most incredible and glorious journey of your life.
Wow. Thank you for this. Amazing Courage, Amazing Faith.
ReplyDeleteDid you notice that Linus drops his security blanket when he says, "Fear not."
ReplyDeleteVery subtle, but quite a message there from Charles Schultz!
Great blog Lizzy.
...the sky was filled with angels who sang about "peace of earth and goodwill towards men!"
ReplyDeleteI've read that verse quoted here in Luke 2:14 many times, mainly because it's frequently quoted at Christmas in just about every place Christmas is mentioned & in just about every medium you can think of. Until recently though in my own journey, I saw that for whatever peculiar reasons, the best & last part of that verse is left off.
"... men with whom He is well pleased".
God's pleasure is with man, and that's why He came to dwell with us. Indeed, we can enjoy our glorious journey.