In terms of professionalism, we as a society demand transparency in nearly every aspect of our lives; from Congress to banks, schools, supervisors, and colleagues. We feel we have a right to open communication and ultimate accountability. So why is it that we feel entitled to conceal these things in our personal lives?
Open Communication:
The advantages of communication have been paramount in my life. Open communication has allowed me to unlock things that have been locked away for so long that I wasn’t even sure how to communicate them when I ultimately decided to verbalize these truths.
If you are open with others, they are open with you.
If you want something, what are you chances of getting it if you do not ask?
If you expect something, how can you hold others accountable if they are unaware of your expectations?
Most importantly: who is in charge of your communication? You? Or the person/people to whom you are (or are not) communicating?
Utilizing open communication has far more advantages than disadvantages. Allowing people to see you as you would like to see them breaks the barriers of secrecy, hidden agendas, and unknown motivations. This lack of connection almost always results in NOT getting what you want/need.
Some pitfalls of open communication: vulnerability, betrayal, or misrepresentation by others. I would submit that vulnerability in many regards is an essential ingredient to getting what you want. Vulnerability is a positive form of manipulation that allows your counterparts to see exactly who you are and what you are after, which takes the guesswork out of their decision-making process. Betrayal happens regardless of which path you choose (transparency or not). People who betray will betray, regardless of what they know about you. When you put Your Truths out there for everyone to see, you have not necessarily armed those who will betray. They would also choose to betray if they did not know your truths. As far as misrepresentation goes: what better way to avoid being misrepresented than to ensure that your intentions, desires, needs, and/or expected outcomes are right there in front of you for people to see/feel/hear?
Accountability:
Accountability is, to me, one of the most critical aspects of any relationship, both professional and personal. I could write an entire blog on Accountability.
When the stakes are the highest, accountability is what we rely on for success (NA, AA, weight loss, counseling, academics). Accountability is the unmistakable communication between cause and effect. Moreover, accountability is allowing your goals and intentions to be known, which effects how you go about living.
Transparency allows accountability.
Accountability encourages forward movement. Forward movement gets us where we want to be.
Placing your faith in individuals who will not hold you accountable is foolish.
Hiding your intentions so that others can not hold you accountable is foolish.
Without accountability, people have the ability to float wherever the moment takes them, which can be to some pretty dark places. Without accountability, direction can not be steered or monitored. Without accountability, failures go unrecognized; or, worse, failures are experienced alone, which doesn’t allow others the chance to encourage or love in ways that are meaningful.
Transparency, which invites accountability, as I see it, is the most effective way to communicate who you are, what you want, and what you expect of those around you. Without it, your ability to achieve many goals is severely impaired.
