It has been four years since I posted the original Checkmate
blog. During the last several months, I've thought a lot about that blog
and how I felt at the time. More recently, I have spoken with several
people who encountered a post Checkmate depressive state... a "what now?"
conundrum. As I considered the concept of enjoying each achievement
without bounding forward to the next goal too quickly, it didn't occur
to me that, eventually, there comes a time when all the goals seem to be
met. We spent our twenties at a full sprint, and then the mid-thirties hit-- or you can fill in
the appropriate age-- where all the battles are won, all the boxes
checked, and it's time to "enjoy" life. Except, there's one problem: how
can you enjoy life without goals? I guess some people can, but I have listened to many people who feel more lost then anything else. Setting new goals
seems futile because these new goals will never measure up to our objectives early on. How can "saving for a great retirement" compare with
finishing college, graduate school, finding a spouse, or starting a
family? How can "paying off all the college debt" compare with buying
your first house? Now you've got the wife and the kids and the house,
weekends at the soccer field, and the honorable discharge from the
military, and you lay in bed at night feeling lost and empty. Because, for some
people, "maintenance mode" just doesn't cut it.
New
goals: sometimes the most challenging goal is to figure out how to
really matter in your world. I mean, REALLY matter. How many people wake up each morning
and ask themselves, "What is my purpose for today?" I read about a
woman who woke up one morning around the age of 40, and realized that
her life was supposed to mean a lot more than raising a family. She
became a world class body builder and fitness expert. That had to take
some SERIOUS soul searching and commitment. I mean, how does someone
even come up with that?
Sometimes finding purpose is
as fundamental as staring your weaknesses or shortcomings - physical or
psychological - in the face, and beginning the trek uphill to right
those wrongs. As far as I can tell, those challenges far exceed the ones
we face earlier in life. You face these new challenges alone, without
an entire generation of people supporting you because they have common
goals. The ones who are committed to becoming better and better, and
fixing whatever became broken during the years of growing up, are few and far between.
Facing
the issues-- bad health, a broken marriage, financial folly, personal imbalance, lack of fulfillment, lack of meaningful contribution to your world-- is
probably the hardest thing a person can do, right behind raising
children. However, behind raising children, I believe it to be the most
worthy challenge you will ever accept.
