Beyond #METOO

I hesitate to post this one because the topic is oh so sensitive. But as a mother of three girls, I have spent countless hours reflecting on it.

The entire #metoo movement has peaked and, I think, is probably on its decline. The time for reckoning has come and we can seldom watch the news without hearing another story outing some perverted opportunist. None of it's new to us women. We’ve known all along that things are different for us and our lives are a perpetual balancing act of self-assertion and accepting societal “norms” (gag). It seems that we have, once again, found ourselves on some shaky, barely established solid ground where we sort of come together in the interest of our common good. The story seems the same, however. As is our typical fashion, we love to undermine ourselves. We are no different from men in that way. There are the great ones who are beyond reproach, but they are shoved into the shadows while the disgusting pigs among them shine bright lights of privilege, dominance, and selfishness. For us women, we have our moment in the spotlight, we pick up traction, and then BOOM, there are many among us who shine bright lights of entitlement, ignorance, and band waggoning. Undermine, undermine, undermine. 

Women are not being taught to be warriors. (Neither are men, incidentally). Our society doesn’t want warriors. We want heroes. A warrior is different. 

A warrior IS beyond reproach, in her work, in her home, and in her head and heart. She needs no explanations or introductions. She walks a path of humble strength. Her power surrounds her as its own formidable presence. She is integrity, kindness, truth, and determination. She strives for perfection in all that she does and she never settles for anything less. Her mistakes are learning points and the scars of her sorrows become badges of honor. She stands atop her own mountain, queen of her universe, and respect follows her wherever she goes. She need not ever fear conflict because she is steadfast in her steps which walk a line of honor and strength. Woe is he, or anyone really, who  foolishly steps over the line. Her wisdom will determine her response, which is swift, powerful, and unequivocal. 

The challenge that #metoo encounters is that it’s short-sighted. There is a difference between asserting ourselves from a position of anger verses a position of power. Anger can be an amazing tool with a fire that burns hot enough to fuel any movement; however it is not enough by itself to sustain change. Understanding that all change can and will be consistently undermined by the bottom-feeders among us, if we don’t live as warriors we will never be able to achieve the kind of change and balance we deserve for ourselves. The same goes for men. The bottom-feeders among them will always hold them back from the greatness to which they are called. When I think of “male warriors” I almost laugh to myself because those species pretty much don’t exist in our society. I have the same feeling when I think of women, too. Leading a movement doesn’t make you a Leader and a Warrior for change. Without integrity, your movement is a house of cards. 

If we are going to say "Time’s Up,"  we need to realize the implications of that. It means time's up on raising our daughters to accept anything less than excellence from themselves. It means having difficult conversations and setting examples and empowering them to do great things. It means teaching them that they are owed absolutely nothing and that it’s on them to earn everything. It’s telling them that dignity doesn’t start after college, it starts right now. It means that anger is embraced as a fuel for the flame, but can never be the flame itself.  It means admitting our own mistakes, failures,and short-comings and making decisions to rectify all things moving forward. It means setting new mantras and goals, which are rooted in our hearts and heads by seeds of love, power, determination, and honor. 

Honor. Live with honor and respond to all things with honor. Women need to seek greatness relentlessly. #metoo has started the conversations and the reckoning, but it’s not enough. We need a change of heart and a fortitude of spirit that reaches beyond this generation.